How do you ask for gifts? DO you ask for gifts? I’m not talking about wedding gifts, or baby gifts – events that traditionally are accompanied by a registry. Or even Christmas Gifts, where some families ask for a “wish list”. I’m talking about the ‘minor’ gift-giving days, like Valentine’s Day, or Mother’s/Father’s Day.
Let’s discuss Mother’s Day. Every year, I do something nice and long-distance for my mom, but I also know that there are gift plans in the works for me. The thing is, every year, it’s pretty much the same thing – some sort of planted thing. Now, please understand, I’m not ungrateful. I enjoy getting gifts, I am gracious when I receive them, etc., etc.
But I’m not a gardener. I have a garden, yes. But mostly it’s under duress that I have one. I enjoy being able to go out now and then and grab a fresh tomato for dinner, but I don’t like having to cultivate, weed, plant, weed, constantly water, weed, chase off pests, weed, fight the overwhelming vines, weed, wonder what to do with this massive bumper crop of cucumbers that are going to rot on the vine, weed…. Well, you get the drift.
The thing is, my husband loves the idea of having a garden. Every year, he starts around December, thinking about what is going into the garden, and by this time in spring, he’s nearly unbearable with his excitement of having a garden. But I’m the one who does all the work.
So when I know that for Mother’s Day, I’m going to end up with even MORE plants that I’m going to have to take care of, well, it doesn’t excite me. In fact, I dread it.
What am I supposed to do with this? I LOVE that they get their heads together and ask me to drop them off at the local store with orders to “stay in the car and close your eyes when we call and tell you we’re coming out.” They know I love a good surprise, and I’m happy to indulge in any way that I can. I don’t peek, and I go out of my way to stay out of THEIR way when we’re dealing with gift-giving.
But I just don’t want another flat of flowers!!! But I also don’t want to tell them, because they’re so excited about it. I know it would likely hurt their feelings, or make me look ungrateful. Or both. And I also don’t know how I’d answer if someone said, “well, what DO you want?” Ok, yes, I do know how I’d answer, but I already tried asking for a night away at the local hotel, but they didn’t go for it.
Maybe this is a ‘woman’ thing? I can’t ever remember a guy agonizing over receiving a gift…