I was watching a re-run of The Talk a few weeks ago, when it was still good. That’s another post but this was the topic.
Women are bigger masters of manipulation than men are. They use things like the silent treatment and they also try and use guilt to get their way.
What do you think? Do you know a lot of women who use these tactics to get their own way? Do you know many men who do?
I am gulity of guilt tripping people. I hate it and I try really hard to stop myself once I realize I am doing it. My husband is also a guilt tripper. But like I tell my daughters, just because someone offers you a trip does not mean that you have to accept to take it.
LOL!!! It really is good to have you back.
I just thought these traits were genetcs.
I am not really manipulative myself, but I do know some women who are. I have tried the silent treatment a few times when I’ve been pissed off, but the person usually doesn’t even notice, LOL – especially if it’s a man. Mostly, I don’t hold grudges, so I have no reason to play around with guilt trips.
I have this one friend who can make me feel like crap without even trying. And then she will tell me I shouldn’t feel that way – so then I feel like crap for feeling like crap. Every single time. This has gone on for years. I’m pretty sure it’s my problem more than hers, yet it only happens with that one person. Weird.
Oh, and I know some men who are manipulative / guilt trippers, too. I can think of at least 4 right off the bat, without even thinking for 10 seconds.
I think that many women have more insight, and many of us also seem to be aware of the power we have over men or other women. It’s kind of an uncomfortable thing to write about, but I do think that there’s something to this.
I can’t say that I *don’t* manipulate, but I try very hard not to. There’s a lot of manipulation in parenting, I think, by necessity, but I don’t know, really if it’s “manipulation”, or simply pointing out the possible consequences of an action that you don’t want your child to take. For example, “You insist on bringing that stuffed animal to school. If you do, and it gets lost, we will not purchase another one to replace it.”
I do, however know a lot of people who manipulate others. And it seems to be a good mix of men and women, with men tipping out the women just a little. There are a few, in particular, who seem to see manipulation as a wayof life. It gets tiring after a while.
I know more woman than I do men that are manipulative. But, I wouldn’t go as far as to say generally speaking, that there are more woman that are manipulative than men. I think it starts at a very young age too. I see it already with the girls that Bailey goes to school with. I could be wrong, but it seems that boys/men don’t take on this trait until much older.
I’m not a manipulative person by nature, but I know how to be! I think we all have the instinct to be, some just use it more than others.
I am the Queen of The Silent Treatment. I think I have a crown around here somewhere! But being silent when I’m mad or upset is just what I do. I almost never confront or fight. I keep things under my skin and “IF” I get mad enough, it ALL comes out. I wish I could be different. I just wish I could say right up front what’s wrong or what I’m mad at but I’m very hesitant to say anything out of anger because you can never unsay something and when we’re mad, some people say evil things that they don’t mean but the person who gets blasted with it never forgets. So, I think it over and most times will talk about it later. When I’m calm. Or most times, never.
I don’t do the guilt stuff very often.
I forgot to mention that I know people equally of both sexes who manipulate. I think it’s just how you are and has nothing to do with gender.
I don’t know which is worse… using the Silent Treatment like you, or being like me: not able to shut the heck up when you’re mad. I’ve garnered the reputation around here of being a nag, bitchy, whiny, a complainer, etc., because I let you know exactly how I feel and why. And if you’ve slighted me, you’ll know about it.
I guess it’s part genetic and part learned behavior. My mom nags me every single day of my life and I learned very early on that I never wanted to be like that. I wanted my kids to like me. I do think getting it all out helps though. I’m sure keeping everything bottled up inside isn’t good for you and sometimes I get mad when people don’t “just know” what I’m mad about and really, how fair is that? Nobody’s a mind reader.
For any woman who wrote that they definately do not manipulate… how are we supposed to believe anything else you say? 😉
(this computer needs a sarcasm/humor button. Everything I write is meant to be a lighthearted ‘retort’ but comes out snarky and mean)
Mine needs one too Laura. I’m surprised it hasn’t been invented yet.