Ruth Madoff

Did any of you happen to see the Ruth Madoff interview with her son Andrew on 60 Minutes Sunday night? I found it to be very sad. I find her to be a very sheltered woman and extremely naive. Here’s a small article and here’s a video for those of you who are interested.

I feel very conflicted with this whole thing and honestly, I don’t think she knew what was going on. I know a LOT of people disagree with me. Even the person I live with does but as a woman, I believe her.

I know what it’s like to be a wife to a man with his own business and I have NO IDEA the things Paul does. Do any of us know the “extra’s” people have when they own their own business’s? This is a woman who after having children was a stay at home mom. She did have an office in the building where he did his business but she said she really only had it for somewhere to go and most of the time she was working on home stuff, kids stuff and volunteering. How would she have known he was up to what he was?

They had so much money and most women don’t think like men do and keep wanting more and more. Some do obviously but I saw the look in her eyes and she really still looks lost without her husband. She didn’t know what to do about anything. It was clearly obvious he took care of her and everything else. I think he became addicted to what he was doing and neither son knew either and they WERE involved in other aspects of the business.

What about you? Do you think she knew what her husband was doing? Do you think she should be punished?

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14 Responses to Ruth Madoff

  1. mssc54 says:

    Madoff sure Mead off.

  2. SKL says:

    I don’t know in this case, but I agree it’s quite possible to be sitting close by all day and still not really know what is going on in the other person’s work email and bank accounts. I live with my business partners, but I don’t know a lot of things that are going on, because I don’t feel like digging into it. I feel that I know the people well enough to not worry that they would do something unethical. I have my own job to do and other things to keep me busy. Why would I go looking for more stuff to dig into? It’s not that I’m hiding from it or being stupid. I just have a full enough plate with the roles I do play.

    Granted, he was bringing in lots of money, but that doesn’t prove anything. I’m sure Steve Jobs was making some pretty good bucks too – did that make him a criminal? Or just good at his job? There are so many people in the financial world bringing in lots of dough. Also, who knows whether she actually saw that money? If he reinvested it a certain way, she’d never see the cash and it wouldn’t even be included in taxable income. Again, only if she felt the need to dig into the data would it come to light, and why would she do that, knowing there were probably a whole team of accountants working on the books and tax returns?

    The freaky thing is how this guy managed to go about his business with an innocent look on his face that fooled even his closest friends and relatives. I’m pretty sure I could not pull that off. I think you have to have some kind of mental illness to be that convincing – like you almost convince yourself that you’re a good guy. Or maybe he was just a really good actor.

  3. Vicki says:

    I seen the interview with the daughter inlaw, wife of the son who committed suicide last week i think it was on dateline or something of sorts, i don’t think too highly of Bernie or his wife.

  4. Laura says:

    not ignoring. exhausted. will comment tomorrow… g’night all!

  5. Nikki says:

    I don’t know this story well enough, but I do know that it is possible for a spouse to be in the dark about a lot of things. I have no idea if she knew what was going on or not. I do see so much sadness in her eyes.

    Only they know the truth. The things that has me confused is, why would she try to kill herself if she had nothing to do with it. I understand not everyone believes her, but if that were me and my husband did that, the last thing I would do is stay by his side and agree to die with him. He can rot in hell alone. On the other hand, the hate mail, the threats, the nightmares that are sure to follow her may have been so much that she thought it best to end her own life. Gosh, I just don’t know!

  6. Laura says:

    Geez. Exhausted last night, and crazy busy today. But I still want to comment here.

    I’m only halfway through the video, and I’ve got a few comments.

    You’re right, Joy, in some ways, Madoff’s actions mimic the behavior of an addict. Sometimes even those closest to the addict don’t know just how bad it is. How many wives, when confronted with the cancellation of all their credit cards, confess that, until that moment, they didn’t know just how bad the gambling problem was? How many wives, until they’re staring into the face of a newborn, know that their husband is cheating? Or until faced with the police, know that their husband is into illicit porn? It’s not that they have their heads in the sand, (in most cases) it’s that they’re just living their lives. The wife knows that money is short, or she knows that her husband is working long hours, either away from home or secluded in his home office, but she just keeps plugging along because she trusts her husband.

    This woman seems inordinately tired to me. She still loves her husband – she refuses to file for divorce. When asked, she said, “I don’t know… he’s going to die in prison, and I certainly don’t want to find another man in this day.” To me, that says that, even though she knows he’s guilty, she’s not ready – yet – to leave him. And who are we to judge that? Love the sinner, hate the sin, and all that. And sitting here, being a completely unqualified armchair psychologist… The next woman, the biographer, said that Madoff had difficulty admitting any kind of failure. That tells me that he is a tremendous narcissist. I wonder if he has his wife believing that she could never make it without him. Even though he has completely destroyed their life, she stands by him because she feels trapped. This is her entire life. Even with him in prison, her identity is Mrs. Bernie Madoff. Where is she supposed to go now? What is she supposed to do? She has no money (ostensibly), she has no marketable skills – she was a mom and a society wife. And she has this name. Who is going to hire her now? No, better to stay with the devil you know… even though now I see, she’s cut him off, completely. It doesn’t mean she doesn’t love him, it just means she loves her family more.

    So no, I don’t think she knew what he was doing. And I think she’s being punished more than anyone knows. Because the sins of the husband rarely stay with the husband. Her world has been shattered. Her family has been torn apart. The life she knew for what, 40? 50? More? years is completely gone. Her children hurt, one son, dead by his own hand, the fault of the father. No, I believe that no punishment that we could think of could possibly compare to the punishment she’s living. She is likely suffering more than Bernie, at this point. He’s such a narcissist that he doesn’t really get that he did wrong. It was just business, man. But her, she will suffer this for the rest of her life. Look at how much she’s aged between the original pics of her and this interview. She looks 20 years older.

    (by the way, how old IS Morley, anyway? He looks mummified)

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