Have you all heard this story? What do you think? Do you think it’s mean? Do you think it’s bullying? Do you think people who work in the public eye have any responsibility to any of us? Do you think she’s a bad role model?
What do you think?
I’m just going to state how I feel. I think I’m in the small minority. I feel this guy was a nosy busybody and he never should have sent this email. I can also understand how this hurt this woman’s feelings. It would hurt mine. When you’re fat, she’s right, you already know. You don’t need anyone to tell you.
But I don’t feel this is in any way bullying. I feel one email, that wasn’t even “nasty,” it was just none of his business, constitutes bullying. Bullying goes on for years and years with people putting your head in a toilet or tripping you in the lunchroom. I don’t see how one email =bullying.
I was bullied as a child. I was terrified of one of our neighborhood boys and I avoided him at all counts my whole life. There are kids who commit suicide over this bullying epidemic. We’re just now starting to get a handle on it and then this woman comes forward claiming she was bullied because this email hurt her feelings.
I don’t feel it. I feel the man was wrong. I also feel this woman was wrong. I feel if we start throwing around the bullying word for every disagreement, we’re going to lose the real impact of real bullying.
I don’t know if it was “bullying,” but I think she decided to say something about it because adolescents and some sensitive adults do face this kind of ignorance and people who blithely make these comments should have a bit of a wakeup call.
One interesting question is, who defines whether bullying is occurring – the “bully” or the “bullied”? I think it was fairly clear-cut when I was a kid: if someone was physically in your face for the purpose of terrorizing you, that was a bully. Just being told off now and then, whether about something you can or can’t help, was not “bullying,” though it might be ignorant, insensitive, even mean. A one-off comment is not bullying, so I agree with you there, Joy.
But what if you’re “the fat kid” and you get these comments every day from the people you have to deal with? I recall my brother when we were in upper elementary / high school. He had issues. His acne was very bad, he had an odd way of walking, he stammered when he spoke, he was extremely intelligent, he didn’t like to ever take off his leather jacket, and he was absent-minded so he’d forget to comb his hair or button his fly, and you can imagine how that went. He got comments all the time and whether each individual comment was by a bully or not, the sum total was really too much. So I think there’s a good message in there. You don’t make disparaging comments lightly, and you make sure your kids know how you feel about that. I also think there’s a positive message for victims of bullies: you don’t have to agree with them about not deserving respect. It’s also good for them to know that this even happens to successful adults.
It kind of blows my mind that this kind of comment was made when you consider that the most successful TV personality I can think of was Oprah, whose girth is practically a trademark for her. I can’t imagine someone saying Oprah should be off the air unless and until she gets skinny. (But who knows, maybe she gets emails like that every day too. People are idiots.)
I say good for her!!
Yeah, I wouldn’t say it really constitutes as “bullying” BUT I’m sure he has in his day, and maybe still does. I didn’t like when he said obesity was a choice she made. Or even insinuated that it’s a choice for anyone. Some, yes. Some choose to not do anything about it, but some do and still can’t get the weight off. Sometimes there is an issue that prevents the weight to come off. And the bottom line is, it’s none of his or anyone else’s business. Why people feel the need to say things like this is beyond me?
I think there are many types of bullying. I don’t want to down play it. Words hurt, especially if it’s on going thing. With that said, we as parents need to teach our kids this ~It doesn’t matter what people think or say about us! Stand strong, with your head held high in spite of what those jerks say. Self confidence. Be proud of who you are, and stop letting them get the best of you. Let those words roll off your back, as my husband would say!
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