Plumbing or Feelings? Which is more important?

This story, about a transgendered person (transitioning from male to female) being beat up in a McDonald’s in Baltimore brings up a whole host of questions. But there is one in particular that SKL and I have been tossing around on another part of this blog.  We’d like you to weigh in on it.

What determines which public bathroom a person uses?

I know, it seems like a basic, almost pathetically stupid, question. But it seems as though the whole beat-down happened because a “girl” used the Ladies Room when she was still really a “guy”.  And there are a whole bunch of people who have their panties in a wad over not allowing a transgendered person choose whichever bathroom they feel more comfortable in.

According to the ‘unwritten rule’, a transgendered person is whichever sex he or she feels that s/he is. That means, if you were born with outside plumbing, but you feel pretty, you must be a girl.  And if you were born with indoor plumbing but are feeling manly, you must be a boy. And therefore, you’d use the bathroom that corresponds with your feelings. But you also have to take into consideration any pulverizing that may occur as a result of your visit, so you choose whichever bathroom you feel safer in.

Nowhere in there, do you consider how everybody else is going to feel if you walk into the Ladies Room with outdoor plumbing, and let it all hang out.  Presumably, if those ladies in there have a problem with you, it’s their problem, and they should just leave you alone. If they feel threatened by a linebacker walking into their “women only” space, it’s their problem, and if they don’t like it, they’re intolerant, bigoted haters.

Now, I’m all for ‘live and let live.’  If wearing garter belts and high heels satisfies you, then by all means, go and wear them. But if you have boy parts, then I want you using the boy’s room, I don’t care how bad the lighting is in there, and how messed up your mascara is. Until you get that part removed, you are a boy. And if you come waltzing into the ladies room anyway? You are going to have a LOT of questions to answer, starting with “what the bloody hell are you doing in here? GET OUT!!” And it will have nothing to do with my intolerance of your “feelings”.

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8 Responses to Plumbing or Feelings? Which is more important?

  1. Sue says:

    I agree with you Laura. Until you have your parts removed or added, use the bathroom that your parts belong in. You know, Chris is only 6 and I’m starting to question whether he should be coming into the women’s restroom with me! I can’t figure out why this he/she had all his/her junk hanging out for those chicks in the restroom to see anyway. We have stalls with doors! Use them!!

  2. SKL says:

    To me, it’s a security issue, as well as a comfort issue. One strategy rapists use is to dress like a woman and hang out in a public women’s restroom. This could also be used to molest young children (male or female) who are sent/taken to the ladies’ room because it’s considered safer. For that matter, it could be any heterosexual guy on a whim or dare going into a women’s locker room just to see what he can see.

    If I encounter a male in the women’s restroom / locker room, I’m not gonna inquire into his sexual identity, you know? When it comes to safety, time is of the essence. Shoot first and ask questions later. I’m just picturing myself with my girls at a rest stop, having to deal with this type of situation. It’s not right.

    If anyone can use whatever bathroom he “says” he fits into, what is the point of separate bathrooms in the first place? How about we all just go in one big pit.

  3. mssc54 says:

    This is one of those things females worry about but guys could care less about. Guys would NEVER beat up a girl for coming into their bathroom.

    On the other hand, I could give a rodent’s rectum what you FEEL like. If you have a penis Id BETTER NOT catch you coming out of the restroom one of our daughters are in! You just may be feeling a bit different when we meet up.

  4. Phyllis says:

    Ok, I’m with Sue and Laura on this. First of all, if a guy is a cross dresser and using the women’s facility, WHY was anyone the wiser? We have stalls that have doors on them and the majority of them actually lock! How did the women inside figure out this was a guy? Secondly, if a person has male body parts that person should be in the men’s facility. Until the transformation is complete you are what you were physically born!!

  5. Laura says:

    What really annoys me is that if this person had been dressed as a guy – just dressed that way – these girls likely would have been heroes for taking out an evil man. But because they’ve thrown in the word “transgendered”, it’s a big gay-bashing “hate crime”.

    There are plenty of situations where I feel uncomfortable – for example, I’ve been to plenty of rock concerts and other public events, where the line for the ladies was wound halfway around the stadium, and there was NO line for the mens. But I still am not allowed in that bathroom. Why? Because I have the wrong equipment.

    This is so Animal Farm, it’s not even funny.

  6. Joy says:

    I think what bothers me the most is the young girls, for example, who goes out for dinner with her family and she’s plenty old enough to go to the restroom alone and now we have to worry about a linebacker being in there? Or even some troubled person who’s trying to “finding them self.” I used to just watch the door and made sure she got in and out okay but now do we need to worry about “who’s in there” when she goes in? I remember not too long ago where a young child went into the restroom alone and was raped and murdered in under a few minutes. Someone man had been hiding in the stall. Now doesn’t that make you feel all warm and cozy inside?

    I’m sorry but if you have a penis you go to the men’s room and when you don’t, you use the woman’s room. What’s the big deal here? Why would that person care which restroom was used? I think it was Sue who said there are stalls.

    • SKL says:

      Thank you. I thought I was the lone voice out there willing to acknowledge that there might be a reason “other than homophobia” for not wanting a man (however dressed) in the women’s public restroom. How hard is it for a rapist to put on a skirt and a wig?

  7. Nikki says:

    Bathrooms are marked, “MEN” or “WOMEN” for a reason. If you are a man, transitioning into a woman, fine, I have nothing against that. But wait until you have the right parts to use the women’s restroom. You have young children to think about and the fact that some rapes are perpetrated this way. It comes down to having respect for other people. Which a lot of people just don’t have.

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