Partying in front of your kids

I got up this morning and was reading my blogroll like every other morning.  I came across Amber’s post and it kind of fit into my frame of mind.  Just what kids get exposed to.

I got to spend the day yesterday with my two daughter in laws and they were talking and I was just listening.  I’m not sure they even knew I was paying attention and they were talking about friends who they partied with.  I was doing my hair “IN STAGES” and was making a shrimp dip and was just listening to them talk and I never said a word.  It was brought to my attention that a LOT of parents party with their kids right there with them.  I’m no one to judge but have you done this??

I have gotten plenty drunk.  Petting a dog who wasn’t there drunk.  Not being able to walk a straight line drunk.  Puking drunk.  Sick the next day drunk.  Lots of times.  We had a family cabin and we partied every weekend.  BUT OUR KIDS WERE IN BED.  What I heard yesterday made me feel kind of sad.  Who would want their kids to see them falling down and acting stupid and maybe fighting or crying or throwing up?  I’m not saying it’s wrong but what I’m saying is why would anyone do this?  I’ve gotten so drunk that I’ve forgotten what I said or did, but my kids, had they been there, would have had that memory maybe forever of ME acting like a stupid fool.

We used to have bonfires every weekend and our kids got to participate but neither my husband or I had more than one or two drinks when they were up.  At least until they were in their teens.  I’m talking about YOUNG kids say, under 10, 11, 12, 13.  Don’t you think your kid’s seeing you like this is just wrong?  Am I to old fashioned??  I just feel so bad about this because so many people seem to be doing this and way back when, we just didn’t.  Our kids went to bed at 10 and then we partied.

Have you done this?  Do you know people who do?  Am I a hypocrite being I’ve partied plenty in my life? 

I just guess I feel kids should stay kids as long as possible and this is sometimes a very nasty sight.

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13 Responses to Partying in front of your kids

  1. SKL says:

    Hmm, I guess since I don’t “party,” I am not qualified to answer this question. But, when we have a grown-up party here, the kids go to bed at their regular bedtime, which is before anyone has a chance to become stupid.

    When I was little, my parents had parties at our home, and we had to go to bed. We would try to stay up and listen at the door to know what we were missing, but never managed to stay up long. The next morning, as my parents slept in, we would go around and sip the last drops remaining in the wine and beer glasses. That’s about all I remember about my parents’ parties.

    The first time I “saw” my parents drinking and dancing like fools was at my youngest sister’s high school graduation party. I guess at that point they figured their job was done.

    I tend to agree that kids should not see their parents stupid drunk. They should look up to their parents, which is difficult to do when the word “mom” or “dad” elicits images of a puking drunk. But that’s just my opinion.

    I do believe parents should model “responsible” drinking in front of their kids.

  2. Amber says:

    My sister in law has done this numerous times in front of my niece. It disturbs me to no end. She hangs out down at the bowling alley and has more than a couple. One night she came over to my mother’s home drunk and she wanted to pick up my niece. My mother refused to allow Alex to be driven home by her, and insisted that they both spend the night.

    I don’t get it. I have never growing up seen my mother have more than 2 glasses of wine. She used to take me out to bars to sing starting from the age of about 11 or 12, but never did she drink or make any kind of fool of herself in front of me. I in turn would never ever do such a thing in front of my niece.

    What are people thinking? They wonder and get upset when their kids wind up with problems with cigarettes, alcohol and drugs. Guess where they get it from folks?!

  3. SanityFound says:

    I was brought up surrounded by alcohol, all my mothers men and all the kings horses including herself. Partying was a family profession so was alcoholism.

    I’m not going to say much here, perhaps I should rather just put it in a post and link back 🙂 I was a barmaid and cleaner upperprofessional from a young age and went clubbing with mother from the age of 12. My mother also had the principle where by if you wanted to do something do it in front of her no sweat, at least then if something went wrong she could do something about it, this included drugs.

    My only vice is, sorry I mean was, cigarettes – go figure. Perhaps one shouldn’t sanitise life too much, perhaps one should… who knows, great post – adding it to the next fruit salad!

  4. Pingback: Influencing kids… PG18 « SanityFound’s Rambling’s

  5. candi says:

    I will have a few beers , say 6, or so, but not drunk when my kids are awake, When I am going to party they are in bed asleep, and on the opposite level, is when I have partied. They have been exposed to others drunk, and I didnt like that, but we were at a graduration party, So a specail event, they have been exposed to others, but not there parents. I do think its wrong to party when they are awake, and lately, they last few times that the oppurtniy came to drink, i have decided not too, because I didnt want to spend all day in bed the next day, and take time from them, so I usually get a sitter, when I do party. My children are not exposed to me stumbling drunk or there dad, Maybe once, but no one is perfect. I watched my family get drunk and such, and I do not want that for my kids.

  6. nikki says:

    I don’t party with my son around really at all especially at home. We don’t party at our house at all, we’ll go out. Anything could happen and what good would I be drunk. I never saw my Mom drunk let alone drinking but she was never really a drinker. My son recently saw me not at my finest hour and he was not supposed to. I was out drinking and he ended up seeing me when I got home. He will NEVER AGAIN. I’m pretty much done drinking now. I’ll have a few with certain people like a daiquiri with my Mom in law or a few with my sister in law but that’s it. I get around certain people and if I have 1 I have 13. But that only happens with certain people and I’m done with that. My son will never see me like that again. I don’t even want him seeing me with a beer in my hand now. I don’t want him growing up remembering me like that.

  7. Jennifer says:

    Well, I really don’t know what my opinion is on the matter. Here’s why.

    I grew up in an alcoholic family. My father was an alcoholic. He has not had a drink in over 5 years, or since he was diagnosed with cancer and unable to. I hate to say that cancer was the best thing to happen to him. He’s been a changed man. My mother was always a social drinker. She would have one drink, two if she was REALLY partying, but never any more. I’ve never seen her intoxicated in my life.

    I grew up watching my parents drink at parties. It was not uncommon for all of us kids to be running around while the adults drank at family BBQs, and drank all night. This was before the days of seatbelt laws, laws regarding DWI etc. More than once I watched my father get so drunk that he was not able to walk. I watched my mother get embarrassed, watched her plead with him to go home. More than once I was sent into the party to retrieve him as she sat out in the driveway with the car running. More than once she packed me in the car with her and left him at the party. More than once she locked him out of the house and told me not to let him in. More than once she allowed me to lecture him when I was old enough to be taught in school that drinking to excess was not smart. I remember being frightened. I didn’t want my father to be left behind, I didn’t like it when he lost control. I didn’t like to see my mother angry.

    Do you know the end result? Despite my alcoholic genes, despite the fact that I have a brother who also suffers from the same disease as my father, I’ve managed to keep myself in check. I don’t drink to excess. It’s not uncommon for my husband and I to have a dry house for months at a time.

    While I’m not condoning partying in front of your kids, I think if done responsibly it can be a great way to teach your kids responsible drinking. What I learned from growing up was that there’s a RIGHT way to do it (My Mom) and a WRONG way to do it (My Dad). I don’t in the end regret growing up that way. I really don’t believe that a kid that grows up watching parties becomes a partier.

  8. Joy says:

    You were very lucky to escape your genetic make up Jennifer. Way to go. I didn’t necessarily mean that partying in front of your kids would produce a partier. I meant the image of me acting like that would be in their brain and I didn’t want that image, of me, like that, for my boys to remember or be a memory for them.

  9. Jane says:

    I guess we don’t really party either. I mean we do have bonfires out at the gravel pit with our friends and there are a few beers drank but nobody really gets drunk and there are NO drugs with our group of friends. My husband likes a beer every night after chores but it’s one beer and we never go to extremes. I’m not really sure why that is either.

    This is a very good topic and something that I really never thought about. I defiantly wouldn’t want my son to see me falling down drunk because I’d be afraid it would be something he wouldn’t forget.

  10. Joy says:

    I just wanted to point out that I wasn’t talking about my daughter in laws or my boys. I heard them talking about some of their friends. Sue wanted me to make sure I didn’t mean them and I didn’t.

  11. Tosha says:

    I have had a few drinks with my kids around at a friends house but if i have even 1 drink my husband doesnt and if he has a drink I dont.. I have NEVER been drunk around my kids and never will be.

  12. nikki says:

    Yea my whole outlook on drinking is different now. Bailey didn’t see me drunk he saw me sitting on the bathroom floor. So for all he knows I was sick with just a stomach ache which isn’t abnormal. I have no real desire to drink anymore. I never saw my mom drunk and Bailey won’t see his mom drunk. What a horrible memory that would be!!

  13. Pingback: Ever noticed how many expressions there are for being drunk? « Life, laughter, love and light….

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