Aggressive is the only word I can think of but I wouldn’t really call it that. For the better part of my life, I never said no to anyone. Not for almost anything. If anyone from school, church or the boys sports teams wanted anything, it was, call Joy, she always says yes.
It’s even kind of funny but I got my job in the school because I was always there anyway. The principal called me one day and asked if I could help on the playground a week from Friday and I thought it was a volunteer job so when I got there and had to sign a W-2, I wondered what was up. I got teased about that for years.
I taught Bible school and was a Sunday school teacher. There were even a number of years that I was room mother to both boys. I would have to drive from school to school during a classroom party. I also can’t even remember when I didn’t go on a field trip with them. I was always “team mom” for every sport they played. I loved it and it never really bothered me. The only time it really got to be to much when on was on the PTO board. I was just gone to much and my kids and I never really got to enjoy any school functions together because I was always “working” them. I did it for a few years and then gave it up. It was taking to much from my kids.
I have now gotten to the point that if I don’t want to do something, I say so. Can you imagine that my mom told me very recently that I’m not as “nice” as I used to be!?!?! Ummm, thanks loads! I used to do “all holidays” and if we had family gatherings, they were always at my house and I was always the one doing all the work. If anyone asked anything of me, I never said no. I guess I’ve been a “yes-man” all my life.
I don’t do this anymore. I’m not sure when it changed or when I stopped being “nice.” Maybe it just slowly happened and I didn’t really even think about it until it was so “nicely” pointed out to me by my mother!! If I don’t want to go somewhere or I don’t want to do something, I say so. Maybe I’ve just come to think that I’m 51 years old and if I don’t do what I want to do and what I enjoy to do, I never will if I don’t do it now.
What I’m wondering though is if you don’t do what people want you to do or what they ask you to do, does that mean you’re not nice? That doesn’t seem reasonable to me. Or is it just because it’s the way I was and people just got used to that and now that I’ve started standing up a little for myself and they don’t like the change, they’ve now declared “Joy’s not nice?”
What is “nice” anyway? If I ask someone to do something and they say no for whatever reason, I don’t think they’re not nice. I think maybe they have other plans or they don’t feel like doing it but I don’t think they’re mean.
What do you consider a nice person? Do you think in order to be a nice person you need to be a doormat?