Question of the day

dandilionDo you feel that children should be sheltered from unhappiness?

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12 Responses to Question of the day

  1. starlaschat says:

    Maybe children do not need to know all the gruesome details of life. But I think life is full of many different feelings and life experiences. I think it is good to see parent as examples work through and survive different things that come up. With in reason.

  2. Joy says:

    I agree with Starla for the most part. I think children need to know what happens in real life so they can be prepared. I think death is important to deal with as it happens because it is such a part of life. I don’t think they need to be scared of things and don’t think they need to know the technicalities of some things but they do need to know that some things just happen and that’s just the way it is.

  3. SKL says:

    I think they should see a normal human dose of unhappiness. But they should not be bombarded by it. In real life, most people have reason to be unhappy part of the time, but happy most of the time. Some folks’ personality screws with the balance, but the reality is, life is good most of the time. That’s what kids should see.

    I continue to ban my kids from most TV, because it exaggerates the bad in a way that I believe is unhealthy. An alien watching TV would think the average human has about 500 sex partners, is involved in scores of fistfights and several murders, has at least one zombie stalking him, needs prescription medicines to get through each hour of the day and night, hates his parents, needs $100/day discretionary allowance to be content, needs plastic surgery to be seen in public, and only tells the truth 10% of the time. The news hardly ever reports on the happy side of life, and the fictional shows show happiness as something you have to buy or steal. Until my kids are old enough to understand how much exaggeration, sensationalism, and bias dominate the media, they don’t need that in their mental diet.

    • Sue says:

      It is impossible and what would it teach them anyway? It would give them a false sense of the way things really are and who benefits from that?

  4. Laura says:

    The little, everyday unhappiness? No shields. He needs to learn to deal with disappointments – a friend moves away, a toy breaks, a pet dies.

    But there are times when the unhappiness is SO big and so potentially frightening, that some shielding is needed…

    When Steve was in The Wreck, at first, I didn’t know what was going on, so I didn’t tell him anything at all except, “I have something very important that I need to deal with, and I have to go” (I had to leave him with the babysitter to go to the hospital, just to see if Steve was going to live.) Later, as things developed, I gave him drips and drabs of the truth… “Dad was in an accident” vs “Dad cartwheeled his car over a ditch”. “Dad was hurt, but the doctors are taking care of him” vs “Dad is on life support”.

    Fortunately, everything worked out ok, but I was already formulating in my head how to tell him, if things hadn’t worked out so well.

  5. Doraz says:

    It all depends on what caused the unhappiness and what their age was at the time. There are different ways to handle different scenario’s. The same does not apply for all.

  6. Just a Mom says:

    Not at all, according to my kids, especially my teen, I supply them with daily doses of unhappiness! 🙂
    I think kids have to learn how to deal with the bad in life just as much as they do the good. A good example is keeping score at kids games. They need to learn how to lose and lose the right way just as much as they need to win and win the right way.

  7. nikki says:

    You have to prepare them for the real world. It’s not all sunshine and roses!! A good balance is what they need. When you shelter children from anything it always comes back to bite you in the ass. The rebel big time! Or their expectations are stomped on because they expect everything to be happy and great all the time.

  8. JavaQueen says:

    Do I think children should be sheltered from unhappiness? Yes AND no. They need to see how we handle real life problems and see how we move forward… but I don’t ever want my kids to “worry”. That’s my job. Then there are things we all have to go through, like seeing someone we love pass away- grieving, recovering, and all that goes along with that- how could you possibly hide that from them? If you hide ALL of your emotions to protect them then they will probably not know how to show their emotions when they get older, and we all have to let our emotions out sometimes, that’s just healthy. I’m rambling and having trouble getting to my point today – so, I’ll end this here. But my answer is yes and no.

  9. Nope. To shelter them from such things would easily become the largest disservice to them as they mature. You must know tears in order to appreciate a laugh. You can’t know your heart without knowing your soul.

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