Blatantly stolen from ToneDeafComics.com, which will absolutely crack you up, if you’re a Band Geek like me. (Orchestra/Vocal geeks, too)
That question is the one that will strike fear into every human man old enough to know he should be afraid. And yet, we still ask the question.
As wives, we NEED to ask that question sometimes. If we’re going out, we certainly don’t want to look like Shamu in a pink dress. If we’re shopping, we want to know if these jeans look better than those jeans.
In our guys’ defense, asking “does this make me look fat?” is about as loaded a question as you can get, and we should NOT ask that way. But I’ve had guys tell me that they won’t answer ANY question their significant other asks them about their looks. I even had Big Brothers Mike and Jim look at me sideways when I’ve asked them if I look ok when we’re going out somewhere. Hey, I have to ask. My husband is blind, and the lighting in my house is atrocious. I don’t want to go out looking like Mimi, I’d appreciate an honest answer to the question.
So guys… is it that hard to answer the question? Especially if it’s something like, “do I look ok?” Can you be honest without getting busted? Yes. If she truly doesn’t look her best, tell her. Just don’t use Steve’s favorite line: “it ain’t the jeans that make you look fat, honey.” Say something like, “that color doesn’t look right,” or “that skirt doesn’t hang right.” Follow it up with a compliment: “your blue blouse looks great on you, and would go with those pants,” or something similar.
And ladies, give the guys a break. No more, “does this make me look fat?” ok? If you really need the answer to that question (because 90% of the time, we already know the answer), ask a girlfriend. SHE will tell you the unvarnished truth, and then go out for ice cream afterward.
Are there any other loaded questions we should beware of?
Us Girls..Our Views 
I don’t ask that particular question, but I will say that insecurity is behind a lot of questions asked in life – the work world comes to mind – you don’t want to talk yourself up, but you sure would like someone else to! I think sometimes we all need a little reassurance.
I have a friend who will ask and want an honest answer, so I give it, but our other friend will say everything is wonderful even if it clearly isn’t. Not just with clothes, either. So I come across as a negative, nasty witch and she comes across as the angel, but is she really doing anyone any good by sending them out looking ridiculous? I give up.
One question I’ve asked and “hope” I got an honest answer: is it obvious I’m not wearing a bra? Oh well, they didn’t even invent bras until recently, so I guess it could be worse. I used to always worry about my hair, too. It rarely looks “good” by most definitions. I know that. So I used to ask if it was “too horrible.” But if it was, what was I gonna do at that point? It’s not like I can take it off and try another hairdo on at the last minute. At some point I decided that my hair is just gonna have to be good enough, because I have better things to worry about.
Asking another woman is COMPLETELY different than asking your spouse.
It would be different if your spouses truly wanted to know the truth. When in reality (at most) she wants some watered down version of the truth.
It would be different if the truth wasn’t used at a later date when there is a fight.
Look ladies, stop fishing. Please. You know if you have to ask you really know the answer.
I agree Michael. If you have to ask, you know.
‘If you have to ask you really know the answer’
I don’t agree with this. I don’t have three-way mirrors in my house. I can’t see myself from behind without twisting around, and then the view is skewed anyway. Sometimes the lighting in the room where I’m dressing is ‘off’, and my makeup looks different outside in natural light. And sometimes I truly cannot decide between this skirt and those slacks. So I ask someone I trust to give me an honest answer. Why is that so horrible?
Like I said, I agree that asking a loaded question like “does this make me look fat” is all kinds of wrong. There’s no way to answer that correctly, unless it TRULY does not make her look fat.
But I see nothing wrong with asking a guy – whether he’s my husband or my brother – if I look pulled together and presentable. It would be nice to receive an honest answer, instead of a “go ask someone else” cop-out.
I can always count on Jason to give me the truth. He doesn’t do it in a mean way either, but if you ask him, he will give you his honest opinion. I don’t really ask him for fashion advice, but how my body looks in what I am wearing is what I really want to know. Because really, the way I view my body isn’t what everyone else see’s. I’m very critical of myself.
If you saw how Paul dressed most of the time when he went out you’d know why I’d never ask him how I look. I could be wearing a red bozo nose and he’d never notice. He has no sense of color or what looks good together.
If I feel good and in my mind “think” I look okay, I’m good to go. I know deep down if what I wearing looks okay or not. I’ve never been a fashionista and I never will be. I just buy and wear what I like and most of the time that’s jeans and a Life Is Good shirt or T-shirt of some kind.
BUT……I do like an opinion about “what should I do with my hair” at times. I’d love suggestions about that. I get sick of the same ol’ same ol’ but when you’re 53, how much change can you do? It’s either short or shorter, layers or a bob and I don’t feel like “me” with a bob!
BUT…if I have toilet paper hanging from my jeans, a wild BLACK mustache hair or broccoli in between my teeth, then I’d love someone to tell me but as far as clothes go, I like what I like and have never been the one to ask people if I look okay.
I loved Mimi.
Yes, but I bet you NEVER wanted to look like her!!!
I feel that I’m very different than most women when it comes to this kind of thing and your questions have just made me aware how true that is.
Most women love to go shopping together and laugh and pick out outfits with each other and say “do you like this one or that one more” and stuff like that but I HATE it. If I have to have something for a special occasion, I would never want someone with me. I would feel like they were telling me what to wear or what to do and I’d also feel like if I didn’t like what they were showing me I’d hurt their feelings so I never go shopping or ask someone what they like more. If I have a conflict with a color, I just buy both colors!
Sometimes I wish I enjoyed going shopping with “girls” because the whole thing looks like so much fun and so much bonding but to me it’s like a nightmare. Now going out to dinner and a movie with friends is entirely different and I love to do that.
I know this has nothing to do with what you asked but it’s how I felt when I was reading it. There is really only one person who I know would really tell me the truth and that’s my first born son. Everyone else would think they’d hurt my feelings. Jason’s brutally honest.
He just gives it to you straight. He doesn’t lie, sometimes people take that as being rude, but at least you know he isn’t lying to you. So, unless you REALLY want the honest truth, don’t ask him. lol
He is the only one I’ll ask if I really want to know. He is very honest. When he wants to be…….