My friend has one daughter. She’s 16. For most of this girls life, she believed one man was her father. She was 13 when she found out that another man was her biological father and this man was “just” her step-father. They divorced and he ordered a DNA test. She found and contacted the man who really was her father and has been working on a relationship with him for the past 9 months.
This morning my friends boyfriend, who has been in her daughters life and a parental unit for the last 5 years, told the 16 year old to change her shoes and to put on the right ones. Well, apparently the girl was in a mood and she told him no. He yelled at her and told her he wasn’t going to take her to school then. She told him that was fine, she would have her stepmother take her and she slammed out of the house.
Well, her stepmother wasn’t home so she came back. By the time she got back, her mother who works midnights, had gotten home from work. She asked her daughter were she was and she told her and she told her that the boyfriend yelled at her.
So, she took her daughter to school and then had a big fight with her boyfriend. She told him “it’s not your job to yell at my daughter.” She told him “she’s MY kid, not yours.” To which he replied “I have provided a roof over her head and food in her belly for the last 5 years and she should respect me as a parent, not just like just some guy.” My friend said again “you do NOT yell at my child.” “She’s MY child”. She doesn’t have to listen to you. She only has to answer to me.
So he said “her REAL dad???? The man who hasn’t paid child support in 16 years??? She has to answer to him too right??? She told him “that question was “out of bounds” and they were done discussing this, “I’m going to take a shower.”
He went to work and the was the end of it. But my friend is talking about leaving this man because she feels so strongly about him disciplining her daughter.
What do you think? Do you think when there is a step parent situation that the step parent should have a say in disciplining the child? My husband is like my friend and he said if we ever split up and I get remarried, that man had better not think of disciplining his kids. I asked him why and he said “because it’s not right.” Those aren’t his kids, they’re mine.
But, I think that step parents should have a say. They’re in that child’s life as a parental figure and they should be able to reprimand or punish the kids as needed.
Agree or disagree???