WHY ATHLETES CAN’T HAVE REGULAR JOBS

1.  Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a  role model:
“I wan’ all dem kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I wan’ all the kids to copulate me.” 

2. New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season:
“I  want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes  first.”

3.  And, upon hearing Joe Jacobi of the ‘Skin’s say:
“I’d run over my own mother to win the Super  Bowl,”
Matt  Millen of the Raiders said: “To win, I’d run over Joe’s Mom, too.”

4.  Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John Jenkins:
“He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings..”

5.  Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann:
“Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.”

6.  Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh :
“I’m going to graduate on time, no matter how long it  takes.”
(Now  that is beautiful)

7.  Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach:
“You guys line up alphabetically by height..”
And, “You guys pair up in groups of three, and then line up  in a circle.”

8.  Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson going to  prison:
“Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to  prison for three years, not Princeton ..”

9.  Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he keeps a color photo of himself above his locker:
“That’s so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find  my clothes.”

10.  Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regimen of heavyweight Andrew Golota:
“He’s a guy who gets up at six o’clock in the morning, regardless of what time it is.”

11. Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice:
My sister’s expecting a baby, and I don’t know if I’m going to be an uncle or an aunt.”
(I  wonder if his IQ ever hit room temperature in  January)

12.  Frank Layden , Utah Jazz president, on a former player:
“I asked him, ‘Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?’
He said, ‘Coach, I don’t know and I don’t care.'”

13.  Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what he told a player who received four F’s and one D:
“Son, looks to me like you’re spending too much time on one subject.”

14. In the words of NC State great Charles Shackelford:
“I can go to my left or right, I am amphibious.”


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5 Responses to WHY ATHLETES CAN’T HAVE REGULAR JOBS

  1. Laura says:

    Aren’t they great, folks? These are the guys that make millions of dollars for playing a kid’s game.

  2. Ellen says:

    Yes! That is so true. The same with some music artists.

  3. mssc54 says:

    I actually heard the last one. It was after a winning game interview. Just toooo funny.

  4. Nikki says:

    These were funny to read!!!!

  5. Joy says:

    LOL!! I love 2, 6, 10, and 11.

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