When Nikki wrote this post, it got me to thinking about letting go of things “we” felt were wrong with our childhood. Of course I’m not talking about her story or stories of abuse or horrific situations. I’m talking about what I would consider “silly things.”
I know people who for example, are still mad at their parents for things that happened in high school, or worse, further back than that. I know one guy who is still, to this day, mad that his parents bought his youngest sister a car for graduation and he didn’t get one. He doesn’t take into account that when he graduated, they didn’t have the money to do that. They gave him what they could.
Then I know a brother and sister who still fight about the fact that the brother got controlling interest in the store their parents left them. Well, it would have helped the sister if she would have had a “business” head but that girl couldn’t keep her check book organized. How could she run the business? The sad part is, she wasn’t left out, he was just in charge. It’s not like he tells her what to do or anything either. She just can’t let go of it.
We’ve all had things that bother us from our childhood I’m sure. Whether we think one of our siblings were favored or whether we feel like we were treated unfairly. How much of that baggage should we carry around with us in anger and hold over our parents head FOREVER and result in a bad relationship with them? Rob our children of grandparents?
I really do wonder how much of this goes on. I do know many people, who I feel, are holding on to things that just aren’t important in the grand scheme of life. It kind of stunts them and they dwell on unhappiness instead of moving forward to happiness. Whether or not your parents went to your brother’s hockey game and missed your gymnastics meet doesn’t mean they loved him more than you.
Parenting doesn’t come with a handbook. Funny isn’t it, all the things that do, but the most important thing in the world, raising a child, doesn’t. I look at it this way. I know my parents did the best they could. The best they knew at the time. Did they do things they might do differently now? I’m sure there are. I know I wish I could go back and UNdo things I did but there again, I did the best I knew how and no matter what I do, as long as I’m moving forward, it’s got to be okay and forgiven. We need to keep moving forward and not blaming the past.
What about you? Do you blame your parents for everything that goes wrong with your life? Are there things you wish you got a do-over for?